People sometimes mistake protecting their territory as malice keeping. That one decides to stay away from a group of people because of one reason or the other does not mean they bear grudges.

It’s possible to have a grudge against someone and also stay away. In this case, it is called malice. It’s also possible not to bear any grudge but yet keep a distance. 

Protecting one’s territory is very important especially for those going in the right direction. People will come with all manner of things/ attitudes to throw one of course but wisdom demand you keep what is good and shut out what is bad. Some people are there to help you while others are there to discourage you. You have the right to stay away from those who don’t have anything good to offer you for your own happiness.

A party freak, when he sees someone who enjoys a party as he does would love to stick with that type of person. if either of them decides to change for one reason or the other, there is likely to be a separation because then, one becomes boring to the other.

Having this mentality

The same goes for those who have found the essence in life. Those who know that life is for a limited period of time (but eternity is limitless) and one does not have to be friends with everybody. People going in the right direction have done some work on themselves (with the help of God) and wouldn’t permit anyone not going in the same direction as they are to come near them. Sometimes these people could be seen as being snobbish or not sociable but they know what they are doing.

Time is too precious to be wasted on irrelevances, too much of everything leads to destruction but moderation is key. Few right friends are better than dozens of wrong ones and when you find the right friend(s), be sure to keep them close to your heart.

Have acquaintances, love people, be joyful wherever you find yourself but that doesn’t mean you should be friends with everyone. In some cases, it’s during hard times that one knows who is really one’s friend. I must also add that there are some so-called “friends” who don’t have your best interest at heart. While some are only interested in what they can get from you, others have evil intention.

Scenario 1

I’ll use an Alphabet as people’s names to illustrate my point.

Lady T is a very quiet person. She is not the type that makes friends easily. She is friendly but has few friends. One day a lady accosted lady T and they started talking, I’ll call this lady E. Lady T noticed that E was unusually friendly towards her. Even though she didn’t feel comfortable about this new friendship, she decided to give it a try. Lady E was very nice to Lady T no one would suspect E had evil intentions. It was after a very long time the T realized that E’s intention was to destroy relationship/ friends she had with people by telling them negative things about her. 

Why would one want to keep such a person as a friend? If not for the Spirit of God that opened her eyes to the truth, she would have continued in the so-called friendship. when one is cutting off from such a person, make sure it’s with a clean heart if not, it will become malice.

What people don’t know about malice is that it affects the person who bears the grudge in a negative way. The person you believe offended you may not even know what happened or may have forgotten. Such a person will be living his/her best life while you allow malice to eat you deeply.

Scenario 2

If you have a “friend” that brings negative energy toward you all the time i.e every time it’s an argument, fight, getting upset, etc. cut off. You are in charge of your territory and are also in charge of the people you allow into your life.

For those who are stressed by a family member, it’s true we didn’t choose our family but God’s Wisdom can handle any situation.  All we need to do is ask God for wisdom on how to handle them. Whatever you do, protect your territory, don’t bear any grudge but love everyone.

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Chidinma Oluchi.



An inspirational writer who loves God, Man and nature.


Emmanuel · October 14, 2021 at 7:25 pm

Thanks for this.

    oluchi · October 16, 2021 at 7:47 pm

    You are welcome Emmanuel

Ima-obong Odumah · November 3, 2021 at 9:17 pm

Thanks Oluchi. God bless you. I remembered when the Lord was teaching me to love like Him, He showed me those who has sworn to be my enemies, I felt bitterness towards them, I started dying inside of me until He helped me to love them. Hallelujah!!!

oluchi · November 4, 2021 at 8:23 am

Bless you Ima-obong, God is ever faithful.

ekilarz · April 18, 2022 at 6:40 am

This clarified a lot. Thank you

    oluchi · April 18, 2022 at 7:45 pm

    You are welcome Ekilarz.

TEENS TV · December 13, 2022 at 3:30 pm

Thank you Oluchi… lot’s of church folks don’t understand this,thus they bully slot of saints to stay in a toxic relationship

    oluchi · December 13, 2022 at 6:18 pm

    You are welcome TEENS TV God bless you.

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