Loneliness: When you feel all alone.

According to NCBI, loneliness can be defined as “a feeling of disconnectedness or isolation”. If not carefully watched, could turn into depression. A large percentage of the population attribute loneliness to the singles separated and divorced individuals. This is true but do you know that we have married individuals who are lonely?

Loneliness is not a good thing at all and could lead to other chains of negative occurrences if care is not taken. I don’t believe people would choose to be lonely, do you? I have not studied in-depth on the personality type prone to loneliness but some studies show that it’s the introverts. Although this may be true, extroverts also have their fair share of loneliness when they are all by themselves.

Friends

Imagine you are a care-free person, you have a lot of friends, quite popular and so on, then one day, something happens that causes all these “friends” to turn their back on you. This could be really disheartening. You may start questioning yourself, trying to find out what you did wrong. A number of times, you are not at fault. Life happens to us all and what we need to do is keep moving. Giving up should never be an option. Even though loneliness might show it’s ugly face at this point, you will surely overcome it.

I’ve been in a situation where I thought I had 2-4 true friends in an organization only to find out that I had none. At this point in my life, it felt lonely, no one to gist with or have healthy communications with. Then I decide to undergo various courses to further develop myself and also engage my talent. Before I knew it, things began to turn. Sometimes when we are in this position, we begin to question ourselves, play the event scene over and over again. It’s really not worth it. You are not perfect, I am not perfect, man is not perfect. So, therefore, disappointment is inevitable. 

If you have 5 people who you know have got your back, they’ve been tested and can be trusted then you are a very lucky fellow. It’s important to build relationships, have acquaintances but be extra careful when choosing friends. Those who believe they have many friends are just starting life. One true friend is way better than 10 fake ones (being friends with you only when you have something to offer them). Some people try to have as many friends as possible to avoid loneliness. Is this a good idea?

Marriage

Another area where people try to fill the void of loneliness is in marriage. People are scared of being alone all their lives. Some have seen people in similar conditions and this got them really scared. In order to prevent this from happening, they take another step. They get married. Whether or not the person is right for them, they don’t care. All they care about is being with someone. This feeling is usually heightened when one is 30 years and above. Everything is ticking, time is running out, the biological clock, physical clock, and all the clocks you can think of are ticking. Rushing into marriage because of these reasons is a bad idea. A bad marriage worsens the effect of loneliness.

Aside from your salvation as a Christian, the other vital thing to a man is marriage (for those with the desire to be married). Even God said that it is not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2: 18). He Himself instituted marriage. Your marriage has an important part to play in how well you function in life. If you have a happy home, it’s very easy to spread that happiness to other areas of your life including your work (even if someone/ thing is proving difficult). But the reverse is not the case.

I noticed a number of people were not happy going to their houses during this COVID-19 period. They would rather be in their office doing nothing than to be with their family. I wonder why?

I will end here for now. The next post will be on how to handle loneliness. 

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Remain Blessed.

Oluchi.