The previous post was about loneliness relating to friends and marriage. I will be going further on this topic. Loneliness has negative side effects such as depression, rejection, suicide, low self-esteem, reduced productivity, etc. It is very possible to have a lot of friends around you and still be lonely. After having lots of noise and ups and down for the day, at a point you’ll be by yourself. At this point, so many thoughts and emotions will begin to run through your mind.
People who commit suicide normally have a period of loneliness where they overlook the good things that have happened in their lives and focus their attention on the negative.
How should loneliness be handled?
The soul/ mind which has a lot to do with our thoughts, emotions, etc is strongly linked to loneliness. The soul is where we have ideas develop while the body puts this into action. Therefore in handling loneliness, 80% of the time we have to spend working on our soul/ mind. This means that how we perceive life, ourselves, what we want out of life, and how busy we keep ourselves is key.
There is a proverb that says , “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. It’s important that we keep ourselves busy. Whatever your hand finds doing, do it with all your heart (Ecc 9: 10). Are you single and it feels like all your mates are all married or are you in search of a Job and everywhere you look, there seems to be a roadblock? As long as you are with God and obeying His instructions, relax. There is nothing as sweet as getting the right spouse and as for the one in search of a job, you might even be an employer of labour.
Therefore, the best thing to do during this period is to focus on yourself. Develop yourself, learn new courses, start-up something new, volunteer in some places (this usually opens doors), get a degree. Once you engage in something new, interesting, and beneficial to you, that loneliness begins to fade away.
Have the right perception about life
You have not been placed on earth to compete with anybody. Just as people have different birthdays, the day they get married and die is also different. Stop comparing yourself to other people. That some gets a job before you, has children/ gets married before you doesn’t mean that you are a loser. Celebrate with them because it’s their time and yours will soon come. At the end of the day, what really counts is, how well you’ve spent your life on earth, the impact you’ve had in your generation, making it to Heaven and receiving your reward.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve made some mistakes. It’s okay as long as you have asked for forgiveness and repented. No one is above mistakes and we are working towards perfection. Develop yourself esteem by loving who you are and not letting other people’s opinions get to you. For more on self-esteem, check here.